Elisha and I made plans to go get coffee and go to the mall this morning, with kiddos in tow. So we get coffees (uh, decaf, so it doesn't really count) and make our way to the mall. The thunderstorms that the meteorologists predicted were right on time. Did I ever tell you that that would be my go to career if I went back to school and somehow got amazingly brilliant at science, and math? Well, it is. I love weather patterns. I sound like a dork. Moving on...
So Myla is asleep, Oliver is ready to jump out and take the mall on, and it starts sprinkling. Great. Ok, maybe if I move super fast we can make it to the entrance before we are all soaked. So Oliver's out with his umbrella, so far so good. I get Myla out, which wakes her up, and put her in her stroller. It starts dropping water bombs. AWESOME. Myla starts whimpering, I only have one stupid umbrella. Mental note, buy more umbrellas.
She is getting dumped on. Cue the thunder and lightning. Oliver starts crying, loudly. OK, moving super super fast. Shoving snacks into the back of the stroller, I bend down to unlock the breaks and Rrrrriiippppp, goes the back of my jeans. WHAT? This is not happening! These pants aren't even tight! I move so Elisha and Laurell can see me, who are by the way scurrying to get Frank and Roman out of the car as well. "Look, I split my pants!!!!" I turn around and show them my half covered butt. Hahah. Isn't this funny?! So they laugh and feel sorry for me at the same time. Laurell suggests I put my jacket around my waist. Smart girl. I'll just buy new pants. Shoot, we will ALL just buy new clothes because the alternative is to wait it out in the 4runner with thunder and lightning and two sobbing, soaking wet kids. No thanks. I hate being stuck in a car during storms!
Oliver is still crying and refusing to move. Poor kid is obviously scared and confused. Why is my mommy making us stand outside in this horrific weather? "RUN!" I yell. "Go Oliver, go, go now!" So he runs ahead while I clutch Myla in one arm and drag the stroller, with breaks still on, with the other.
Whew! We made it! And a while after, Elisha, Laurell and the boys made it too. Okay, this day is off to an interesting start. So we shop and buy new clothes for those of us who are soaked and/or in need of covering their behind due to a large gaping hole in their pants. *Silver lining; I found a cute pair of skinny jeans on sale. Yay!
The rest of the morning goes fine and we manage to have a little fun intermixed with a bit of chaos. Somewhere along the way, I realize I'm missing my phone. Wonderful. Dustin will be thrilled. So we ask around on our way out and magically Laurell finds it at the Barnes and Noble customer service desk. Yippee!
So we say our good byes and I drive home. I pull into our drive way with my two sleeping angels in the back. I decide to relax for a minute before I get the kids out and I pick up an ad to read that Elisha gave me. I am leaning back in my chair, flipping through this ad when I notice something move to my immediate left. I glance at the door and see a giant furry black spider about an inch from my arm. AAHHHHHHHHHH! I freak and jump/slide across the seat and I'm out the passenger door as fast as humanly possible. My car is running, my children are sleeping inside and a huge scary spider is moving around on the inside of my car door. AHHHHH! I open the car door quickly so that I can keep an eye on it. I'm almost hyperventilating and trying to reason with myself to kill the menacing thing.
Nope, can't do it. So I do the next best thing and call my retired 60-something year old neighbor lady to come over and kill it.
Sharon: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi Sharon. It's Missy" breathing all hard.
S: "Who? I can't hear you."
M: "Oh, sorry, maybe it's my phone. I'll call you back."
S: "Hello?"
M: "Hi Sharon, Can you hear me?"
S: "This is Sharon, who is this?"
M: "Oh, gosh, it's my phone. I'll call you back." Thinking I could just go and get her- I can see her house from where I'm standing. Or I could get someone else, but then the spider could move and then I would never drive my car again for the fear that it would jump out and scare the crap out of me when I drove next. Oh good, she's calling me back.
M:"Hello Sharon?"
S: "Who is this?"
M: "It's me, Missy, your neighbor!"
S: " Oh, gosh sorry, I can't hear well on my cell phone."
M: "Are you afraid of spiders?"
S: "What, why?"
M:" Because there is a huge one in my car and..."
S: "Oh, sure I'll be right over."
Bless her heart! She came right over and after misunderstanding where I pointed to, had her face right up next to it. I grabbed/pinched her back, no, be careful it's right THERE! She said "Oh, I hate killing these things, but it just won't. come. out." as she is trying to fling it out of the handle, while I try to dodge where it might fly. "Oh, well (squash) it's dead. See? It's dead." as it falls to the ground. I feel as though I coming back from a heart attack. "Thank you, thank you, thank you Sharon." My hero!
A message to the universe: I'd like to not find anymore surprises today if that's possible. Do you hear me? NO MORE! I'm going to go clean while my children sleep and please please please, don't let me find any bug or spider while I do it. THANKS.
~Missy
